Overthinking — time to let them go
My daughters and I finally did some deep digging into the remaining boxes in their room today, resulting in
(a) More readily accessible drawers for their toys and miscellany
(b) A box of things for Goodwill
(c) A full garbage bag of things which no one values any longer.
It’s been a big project with more to go for them and me working together. The next big step is to review all their stuffed animals to see which they really want to keep and which they are ready to let go.
This leads to me ask opinions on something I have been mulling over for months — actually since beginning packing to move the last time. The question is this:
If something has no value to anyone but you, does it really have value at all?
This sounds like some faux-zen if-a-tree-falls-in-the-wood question, so let me give an example.
I have a box of things from my childhood. There is a wide variety of items in there, including, for example, the head off a bottle of Bullwinkle bubble bath that must have been given to me prior to third grade, since I know it was at the 5th street house.
No one but me has ever looked at these things. I haven’t even opened the box other than to confirm what’s inside for many years. My children don’t know the stories behind the things in there. When I die, the contents will appear to be junk. They are junk, valueless to anyone but me. Why have I felt compelled to keep that box of things? Why is it difficult to do the obvious thing and just chuck it and forget about it?
I think I am asking here for support because it seems to be time to chuck a lot of things from my life.
October 15th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Things can have value to only 1 particular individual because they have value for that one person. Round and round and round but of course something can be of value to only 1 person because each of us is a unique individual. We may share things with others, lives, experiences, loves etc, but in the end we are each a unique individual, alone in ourselves.
So, why keep stuff or would it be better to chuck it? If you have physical and emotional space, or either, and want to keep them, keep them. It is ok to keep things, it is ok to get rid of things, there is no 1 right universal answer all the time for all people.
Eventually we all will die and our stuff will go away and/or become valueless and go away. For me this becomes the issue, I will die, my stuff will become valueless, why do I think any of it has meaning since I am a unique individual alone in myself? Because it does.
Do what makes you feel good. It is ok to keep stuff if it feels good. It is ok to get rid of it if it becomes an albatross around your neck. Only you can tell or know what is right for you right now this time, and tomorrow may be different.
Sometimes I wish I were a fundamentalist with strong beliefs in certain things, would make life easier. I’m glad I’m not, but still.
October 16th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
It is true that things only seem to have value to you. However, I have chucked things out over various times of my life, and I now wish some of it I had saved. I think that it is a hard decision to make, but only you can make that decision.
I know that I am not helping you decide. That is only for you to choose.